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a queer and pleasant danger
not the fic you are looking for 
18th-Oct-2007 02:16 pm
crazyava
This is my entry for American Fic Idol at Wincon. For the stellar entries, check out the leopard porn and Impala-preg fic
Title: Welcome to the Winchester's Black Parade
Author: supernaturallover69
Rating: X
Characters:  Dean/Sam
Warnings: Abuse of the English language, character assassination, bad sex.
Summary: Dean tells Sammy what John told him right before he died. Will the revelation of the terrible sekkrit threatens the brother’s true love?

It was a dark and stormy night when the beloved Impala pulled up at The Do-Cum-Inn, and asked for a room with two queens. They entered the motel room, neither of them commenting on the large rainbow flag hung across the wall.

“DEAN I AM REALLY MAD AT YOU!!!11” shouted Sammy loudly.

His older brother tossed their suitcases into a corner. This was the same argument they had been having for the last 180 kilometers in the Metallicar and the shorter man was worn down to a stump.

“Sammich. Please. Don’t.” The older man knew he was saying this all wrongly as he looked at his little brother, who even though he was younger was so much taller than him. He’d run through this scene, and a trillion variations on it, every day since John Winchester, his father,  had died that terrible horrible day in that hospital when Dr Kripke couldn’t save him and his father, his best friend, had died leaving a corpse to be barbecued by them the next night.

How did John Winchester think he could he tell Sammy that his father’s last words were to order Dean to murder him????!!! Sammy knew his daddy had issues with him but this might break his beloved little brother forever.

“Hey, please. Just give me some time.” Dean pleaded heartbreakingly. The light glinted on his golden chestnut hair. He felt everything skidding out of control, like a teenaged figure skater on crack. “Give me some time to think, okay? I'm begging you here, please. Pretty, pretty please.”

Sammy just glared, at him, with puppy dog eyes turned rabid, and turned his broad, muscled, back to him. Usually just looking at Sam would make Dean instantly hard, but now it just made him sad.  As Dean could feel his brother’s sweet love for him slipping away. He’d got it all wrong, just like he had his whole life. He was a failure, a worthless excuse for a human being. He hated himself.

Sammy drained the last of his appletini.  “Deano…… perhaps there is some stuff in that journal thingy of John’s that we missed seeing. I know I went to Harverd, but even I have trouble reading it because the man because he writes like friggin’ Yoda.” Sammy paced across the room and back on his long giraffe legs. “He might’ve used some sort of code we don’t know about.”

“Sammy, honey, can we leave it for tonight?” Having his soul mate angry at him made tears well up in his aquamarine eyes, moistening his impossibly long lashes. God he felt like such a girl.

“Dean, we should ring the Roadhouse. Maybe they know what’s happening because so many hunters go through their on their adventures.”

NO!! That’s not the answer Sammy.” No way was Dean calling the Roadhouse. Ellen was still pissed at them ever since they had got her precious daughter Jo killed in Philadelphia. Not that it was they’re fault, the blond had no business hunting and Dean was not sorry to see her die after being slowly tortured to death.

“Then what the fuck are we going to do?” exploded Sammy as he got up in Dean’s face, his beautiful features twisted with angry rage.  “Can you save me De”?

Dean pulled his brother towards him. “Always, babycakes. I will always save you. If it takes eternity”

Sammy crushed his mouth against his older brothers’ lips which were like plump honey filled pillows. Soon their tongues were wrestling wetly and then as if by magic they were quickly naked. Sammy’s weapon of lust was as hard as steel, and Dean’s beautiful eyes widened at the sight of how much his brother wanted him. His own cock started rising like a flag on a pole and Dean whispered sweetly “Take me my love, for my heart and my ass are truly yours.”

 Sammy throwed Dean roughly onto the bed and spread his short legs wide apart. As Sammy reached down with his long slender fingers, he could feel Dean’s winking puckered rosebud was already moist for him. He lent down and laved his tongue around the weeping head of Dean’s manhood. His brother tasted as sweet as candy to him. Sammy moved up flicking the moist pointy tip of his tongue across Dean’s smooth satiny chest. Dean wrapped his strong thighs around Jared’s waist, and suddenly he felt Sam thrust thru his tight love muscle and impale him on his throbbing member. The brothers moved as one, and came as one, again and again and again, confirming the purity of their forbidden love.

Afterwards, as Dean cuddled, his taller, younger, brother, he whispered into his neck “Whatever it takes Sammy, I’ll save you because are soles are one forever.” And Sammy smield because he knew it was true.

THE END

Comments 
18th-Oct-2007 04:27 am (UTC)
Outstanding.

OK, new rule: no one anywhere, in any fandom, gets to publish a story until they can explain in detail why this is screamingly funny. :-)
18th-Oct-2007 05:08 am (UTC)
*g* Thanks!
18th-Oct-2007 04:36 am (UTC)
...I am ACTUALLY sobbing with laughter right now.

God, I adore your brain.
18th-Oct-2007 05:09 am (UTC)
I rit gud, yes?
18th-Oct-2007 04:41 am (UTC)
skidding out of control, like a teenaged figure skater on crack.

Ha! That line is sheer GOLD.
18th-Oct-2007 05:09 am (UTC)
Tara Lapinsky FTW!
18th-Oct-2007 04:52 am (UTC)
i just read this whole thing out loud to daniel_bethany, and i am LITERALLY IN STITCHES. ok, not literally, really. but. . . oh my dear lord, that is made of awesome.

Dean was not sorry to see her die after being slowly tortured to death.

cracked me the fuck UP!
18th-Oct-2007 05:11 am (UTC)
I was tempted to post it to a fic comm and see what comments it got! but once on f_w was enough ;)
18th-Oct-2007 05:06 am (UTC)
Alas, I will never know if the tears I shed during the reading of this fic at Wincon were of laughter or despair!! :D
18th-Oct-2007 05:11 am (UTC)
probably just relief that it didn't involve leopards!
18th-Oct-2007 05:49 am (UTC) - No, my capslock isn't broken, why do you ask?
THIS IS AWESOME.
18th-Oct-2007 06:59 am (UTC) - Re: No, my capslock isn't broken, why do you ask?
Thanks!
(Deleted comment)
18th-Oct-2007 06:56 am (UTC)
It felt so good to write!
18th-Oct-2007 07:33 am (UTC)
BRILLIANT.
GENIUS.
Soon their tongues were wrestling wetly and then as if by magic they were quickly naked. Sammy’s weapon of lust was as hard as steel, and Dean’s beautiful eyes widened at the sight of how much his brother wanted him. His own cock started rising like a flag on a pole and Dean whispered sweetly “Take me my love, for my heart and my ass are truly yours.”

Sorry. Just had to quote that again.
18th-Oct-2007 07:39 am (UTC)
Oh thank you - I worked really hard on the characterization in this piece so I am glad you liked it. I think this may be part 1/? in my new Heart and Ass 'Verse.
18th-Oct-2007 08:02 am (UTC)
Oh this is fantastic !!1111!!!11

with puppy dog eyes turned rabid and his older brothers’ lips which were like plump honey filled pillows: these bits were my favorite but “Take me my love, for my heart and my ass are truly yours.” also deserves an horrible mention.
18th-Oct-2007 08:10 am (UTC)
mmm honey-filled pillows...

Thanks!
18th-Oct-2007 09:18 am (UTC)
It's like a 'How To' checklist for writing bad!fic!!!

Step 1: Put your dick in the box Abuse your adverbs

Step 2: Have Dean call Sam, "honey."

etc., etc., etc...

\o/
18th-Oct-2007 07:17 pm (UTC)
*g* I take pride in my work!
18th-Oct-2007 11:01 am (UTC)
*cries with laughter*

God, I love you, MJ. I had no idea the beauty of your badfic until just this moment and I am in awe. *sighs happily*

There's a perverse little part of me that wants "Take me my love, for my heart and my ass are truly yours" on an icon now. *shakes head* You are clearly the queen of crack. :)
18th-Oct-2007 07:18 pm (UTC)
Take me my love, for my heart and my ass are truly yours - may have to be my next tattoo.
18th-Oct-2007 11:37 am (UTC)
Oh, the pain.

I am still laughing.

Next - the Bulwer-Lytton Award?
18th-Oct-2007 07:18 pm (UTC)
Thanks!
18th-Oct-2007 05:12 pm (UTC)
Self-lubricating candy flavored asses for the win!
18th-Oct-2007 07:19 pm (UTC)
mmm love those candy-flavoured asses.
18th-Oct-2007 05:48 pm (UTC)
This was so freakin' hilarious. The details. The random Briticisms, the misspellings, calling their father John and not Dad, the "babycakes" and "honey," the use of words that kill like "heartbreakingly" and "golden chestnut" and "Deano" and "Do Cum In."

“DEAN I AM REALLY MAD AT YOU!!!11”
The 11 just makes that part, totally.

He’d got it all wrong, just like he had his whole life. He was a failure, a worthless excuse for a human being. He hated himself.
OMG, it's Nutshell!Dean! *is esplodey with LULZ and awesomeness*

Also? John's journal shows he DOES write like friggin' Yoda. So there was Truthiness too.

\o/
18th-Oct-2007 07:20 pm (UTC)
Thank you! I worked very hard on my chracterisation here.
18th-Oct-2007 06:31 pm (UTC)
This was great stuff! I started giggling right from when the beloved Impala pulled up at The Do-Cum-Inn, and asked for a room with two queens. Very nice one!

God he felt like such a girl.
Oh, I bet he does! ;)

for my heart and my ass are truly yours
I know it's been mentioned before, but I do think this is fabulous. It's short, sweet, and to the point.

The scary thing is that I've read fic like this on Fanfiction.net and enjoyed it. Thank you for writing this, and most of all, for having the courage to share it with us! *grin*
18th-Oct-2007 07:20 pm (UTC)
Thanks - glad you enjoyed.
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