May 6th, 2010

sam's pony

I used to bullseye womp rats in my T-16 back home bigger than that

I've long been fascinated with Sam's anger. Back in January 2007, after Croatoan, I wrote a meta about how I felt it was central to his character and his journey. That from a young age his maybe Sam feared his own capacity for anger. I wondered if you look at the super-ego as an internalization of the father figure, and your father figure is someone obsessed with killing and filled with anger (hello John Winchester), is it any wonder Sam may have had a fear that his id would be unregulated?.

This uncontrollable rage, this id-monster, which he fears, is Sam’s shadow self. The shadow self is the dark side of our psyche where those things we don’t wish to acknowledge about ourselves reside. Interestingly, the shadow self is often referred to as the dark brother or evil twin.

The process of self-actualisation, of truly becoming one’s self, involves first acknowledging and then integrating the shadow into our consciousness. It is the journey we follow Luke Skywalker on in Star Wars. On Dagobah, as part of a vision quest, Luke confronts Darth Vader, only to have his own face revealed beneath Vader’s mask. This confrontation with his shadow, the part of him that is like Darth Vader, allows Luke to start to acknowledge and integrate his shadow self and ultimately resist the dark side of the Force.

And so I was wondering - was last week's confrontation with Brady, symbolic of Sam's Dagobah moment? Has he faced the darkness within and acknowledged it? Does the mean he can now face Lucifer ? dun dun dun....

More importantly will Castiel turn up in the next episode in a gold bikini?



So it's episode 21 this week, and considering the Sueprnatural finales are really a two parter - SHIT GETS SERIOUS NOW!!!

Here's some thoughts on previous penultimate episodes. Links go to the episode promos aired at the time.
Season One: Salvation "It all comes down to this..." Papa Winchester was badass, Meg was awesome, Sam had headaches, and Dean stood up to John. In typical SPN fashion we finally got to meet some chacrters we'd heard about - Caleb, Pastor Jim, only to have them slaughtered. And the first time we heard "Carry On Wayward Son"

Season Two: All Hell Breaks Loose Part One Brilliant episode that bought together the special children including awesome Andy and evil Ava, gave us great YED and backstory, burned down the Roadhouse and killed Sam. All in 42 minutes.

Season Three: Time Is On My Side Not really aprt one of the finale, due to the truncated second half of the season as a result of the writer's strike. But the promo is gorgeously gross, and this and the previous episode really worked well to build the boys desperatation as Dean's year is nearly up.

Season Four: When The Levee Breaks EEEK! *clutches pearls* Chilling promo for a emotionally intense episode. Sam's hallucinations in the claustrophobic panic room were heartbreaking, as was Dean's struggle with what to do. Inetresting parallels to Time Is On My Side, with Dean's "better dead than a monster line" of course with different meaning now, given what had happened to him in hell.

I'll leave you with this exchange from Salvation, one of my favourite Sma and Dean scenes, whcih continues to resonate right up til now. It takes place as they try to contact John, fearful that he's been captured by Meg.

Sam: If you had just let me go in there, I could have ended all this.
Dean: Sam, the only thing you would have ended was your life.
Sam: You don’t know that.
Dean: So, what? You’re just willing to sacrifice yourself, is that it?
Sam: Yeah. Yeah, you’re damn right I am.
Dean: Yeah, well, that’s not going to happen – not as long as I’m around.
Sam: What the hell are you talking about, Dean? We’ve been searching for this demon our whole lives. It’s the only thing we’ve ever cared about.
Dean: Sam, I want to waste it. I do, okay? But it’s not worth dying over.
Sam: What?
Dean: I mean it. If hunting this demon means you getting yourself killed - then I hope we never find the damn thing.
Sam: That thing killed Jess. That thing killed Mom.
Dean: You said it yourself once – that no matter what we do, they’re gone. And they’re never coming back.
Sam: Don’t you say that! Don’t you.... not after all this, don’t you say that.
Dean: Sam, look... The three of us, that’s all we have. And that’s all I have. Sometimes I feel like I’m barely holding it together, man. Without you and Dad.....

really - thats Sam, and Dean and their story summed up there.
sparkly balloons


So I have four wonderful days off work for the having of fun and shenanigans! Tentative program (subject to change based on fangirl whims, weather and Misha) is:

* Sleep in, dog walk and brunch
* mel_b_angel arrives
* Viewing of SHOW
* Off to MCG to be part of the Field of Women event before the footy to raise money and breast cancer awareness.
* Drinks with fruit in them and food

* Sleep in, dog walk and brunch
* sloane_m arrive.
* Rewatch Show
* Wining, dining and shaking of booty

* SPN Con. Am not really an auto/pic person but I may well be tempted by the squee of my companions. Looking forward to meeting more SPN fangirls. Not sure am prepared for combined Misha/Jim madness.
* Post SPN Con fangirl gathering. Plan is to start with some debrief drinkies University Hotel in Lygon Street (aka nearest pub to the Con) and take it from there. All welcome.

* Sleep in
* Possibly wake up in afternoon to farewell houseguests
* Ignore dog
* Off to see Alien/Aliens at Astor Theatre with lydia_petze and co.
* Remind self need to give lecture at 8.30am on Tuesday!

and that my the good news ;D