July 31st, 2010

ass babies

Official Season 6 description

Latest on Season 6 from Dawn Ostroff at the TCA's:

In response to strong fan reaction to Season 6 spoilers, I have instructed the writers to make the following changes. Henceforth, there will be no character development. There appears to be a five minute window in Season One where everyone was happy with Sam and Dean, so we will take that characterization and stick with it. Dean will be a wise-cracking slightly angtsy, protective older brother and Sam will be a pouty, slightly angsty, whiny younger brother, and they both love each other very much (but not in a thatway, this is not HBO).

Lisa will not appear in Season 6, we’ll find out she has regretfully left Dean to join a separatist lesbian collective and gone to the Gulf to clean oil off sea turtles. The opening episode will consist entirely of Sam and Dean having a very huggy, tearful reunion, and telling each other how much they love each other. Dean will have developed an allergy to poly-cotton materials and will spend the entire season shirtless. Sam’s Season One bangs will be back, as will his hoodie and that cute greyhound t-shirt.

All episodes will focus on Sam and Dean driving around in the Impala, with obligatory “Bitch...Jerk” exchanges, and hugging. Each character will get precisely the same amount of screen time and words of dialogue, and Sam’s Furrowed Forehead of Concern will get equal billing with Dean’s Single Emo Tear of Man Pain TM.

There will be a monster featured each week, but only because we need an excuse to work in the knife and gun porn and opportunities for hurt/comfort scenarios. Sam and Dean will each have hot wall slamming, but respectful, sex with a strong empowered female character, but those episodes will feature a prominent warning for het.

Jeffrey Dean Morgan will appear as the ghost of John Winchester, and appear to apologize to his sons for being a crap father (he will also possibly be shirtless depending on contract negotiations). Each episode will feature a guest appearance by a beloved but dead character. Led Zeppelin have agreed to provide their entire back catalogue for use as the soundtrack.

As it appeared impossible to resolve certain 'ship requirements within this format, a spin off series tentatively titled "Bedtime with Dean and Cas" is currently in development.

I have also advised both leads that they should obtain divorces from their respective spouses. They will be sent to Gay Camp for sexual re-orientation, and I look forward to a big Double Rainbow wedding to coincide with May sweeps.