October 11th, 2010

lesbian icon

come out come out wherever you are

Hi I'm MJ and I'm a big old dyke. I am queer, lesbian, butch. And I'm out.

Today is Coming Out Day in America, and seeing I'm in NYC I thought I'd join in. I think especially in the current spotlight on homophobia amongst everyone from kids to politicians it's important.

The most important person to come out to is yourself.

Not everyone can or wants to be open about their sexuality in large part because it can be uncomfortable, dangerous, lose you friends, family, jobs, legal rights and your own sense of self worth and even your life.

Coming out isn't a one off thing. In a straight world coming out is something we do continually, every time you meet a new person. You have to decide a dozen times a day whether to be out to a colleague or the busdriver or your doctor.

I am out in all parts of my life. It cost me my family (but they were a crappy family anyway). I include all my volunteer queer activities on my resume so prospective employers know and I am aware that costs me jobs. But I have a shitload of privilege and so I can do it.

Being out is amazing and liberating and challenging. I can be out because I live in a town with an amazing queer community and resources that supported me. I hope my being out helps make a space whether that's at work or in my neighborhood or in fandom for others who are diverse in their gender or sexuality to get a chance to be feel great about who they are and who they fuck too. And to stand up to people who would make us feel less than the fabulous people we are.