Jensen reading the message. pic by mfluder42. Jared's hair is DAGGY.
I wish I was there, I have always wanted to come to Australia. I've wanted to get down under and sit around a jillaroo, eating billabongs, and tasting the gumnuts. I wanted to chew some Mallee Gum and meet this Matilda woman everyone goes on about. But with my book coming out this week, that wasn't possible I am hoping for next year.
I hope you are still having fun even without me - I know, I know impossible! I hope you guys and sheilas have a great time and save a cocoa koala for me. Be careful of Jared - he's a dag. Don't let him get in trouble, he doesn't know Christmas from Bourke Street.
And remember - fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life.
Some of it is sort of nonsensical in context but here goes:
Jillaroo is a woman who works with stock (sheep or cattle). Male equivalent is a jackroo. Mainly used in outback areas on big properties.
A Billabong is a body of water usually created when a creek or river has changed course, or erosion cuts through between two bends of a river. Like a pond. The thing the jolly swagman camps by in "Waltzing Matilda" (famous Aussie song that is our unofficial national anthem. Its about a homeless dude who steals a sheep to eat and when the landowner and the police confront him, he drowns himself. Yep, we're a weird mob.)
Gumnuts - the hard seed pods of gum (eucalyptus) trees. Often made into very fetching jewellery and sold at craft markets.
Mallee Gum - not chewing gum, but a type of eucalypt that grows semi-desert areas. Starts life as a normal looking tree, but after fire regenerates with multiple smaller trunks.
Matilda - the one the swagman goes waltzing with? Actually not a woman - it’s slang for the bedroll the swaggie carries there possessions in.
Sheilas - people of the female persuasion.
Cocoa Koala - a type of breakfast cereal actually not Australian or eaten here (that I know of)
Dag - actually not translatable. Affectionate term to refer to someone who doesn't care about what's cool or fashionable and persists in liking something well past its used by date. Can Adj: daggy. Example: possibly Jared's insistence in wearing his beanie everywhere. Definitely his dance style from what I've seen. (also a term for a bit of poo hanging on the wool around a sheep's bum)
Doesn't know Christmas from Bourke Street - is stupid. Bourke Street is the main street in Melbourne.
And "fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life" is originally quote from Animal House as said to Jim Belushi by the Dean. Used again by the awesome Bobby to the demon Sloth in M7.